Facebook is for losers

A while since I posted this but the evidence all suggests that using social media can make you feel inadequate by comparing yourself with artificially inflated/enhanced profiles & pictures or number of people who like you.

Mike the Psych's Blog

figure_bed_computer_1600_wht_14033Most people who use Facebook do so to add positive updates but generally people who use Facebook tend to be more frustrated, angry and lonely.

This might be because positive updates from their “friends” make them feel inadequate.

Now researchers at Ohio University have discovered that people in a bad mood turn to social network sites and look up people less attractive or less successful than themselves rather than those more attractive and more successful.

Given a choice of profiles to look at on a new social networking link called SocialLink participants who had been put in a negative state of mind – by being given poor feedback on a test – spent more time looking at the profiles of people who were less attractive and less successful.

The message is if you’re feeling bad look for someone who’s feeling even worse and regain your emotional superiority.

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Marriage isn’t all it’s made out to be

champagne_banner_our_wedding_500_wht_604For years scientists have said that married people are happier, healthier and wealthier than single people.

Well it’s not true!

Single people exercise more, have better health and more friends compared to married people.

Psychologist Bella DePaulo says earlier studies are flawed because they didn’t take into account the consequences of divorce. In most studies people for whom marriage was awful were excluded as divorcees were counted as singletons.

In reality married people are unlikely to see life as a continuous opportunity to learn new things and develop friendships.

They are more likely to be putting up with an unfulfilling job and a dwindling circle of friends a they await their end.

DePaulo says that for many people being single is a positive, rational choice and they are living the dream.

Lifelong singletons also have more fulfilling jobs and are more interested in self-improvement.

Married people who end up getting divorced end up worse off than people who stay single thus skewing the results even more in favour of married people.

Other research suggests that married men are healthier because their wife nags them!

I’m surprised she doesn’t mention the impact of children or grandchildren on relationships.  Also in these days of gender fluidity and same sex marriages how do these trends influence the data?

You know what they say about lies and statistics!

Meet up after school, chat with your pals?

Spotted one afternoon in local supermarket. Teenagers after school or college. All of them immersed in their smart phones. Not actually communicating with each other face-to-face. No wonder employers complain about the lack of social skills in this generation. Too concerned with missing out (FOMO) and being away from their phones (nomophobia). iPhone zombies, get a life!P1030067

Kids who get on well with their parents make better friends

stick_figure_blue_family_umbrella_1600_wht_1884Having a strong bond with your parents – what psychologists call a secure attachment – helps kids to socialise better with new friends and be less demanding when they want something.

Researchers at the University of Illinois assessed 33 month old children on how secure their attachment was.

They also asked parents to rate their child’s temperament including anger management and social fearfulness.

Six months later children of the same gender were randomly paired and observed on three occasions over a month.

The researchers found that the securely attached children were more responsive to their new partner and more likely to use suggestions and requests than commands to get what they wanted.

When paired with anger-prone children the securely attached children adapted their behaviour to become more controlled.

Published in Developmental Psychology June 2014

The best place to find a friend

is in the office. According to a poll of over 1.000 people by a gluten-free food supplier.

stick_figures_at_water_cooler_pc_1600_wht_3800The average Brit has 64 friend, and while the closest friends are still those from our schooldays we have more in common with people we work with.

A third of those polled admitted to having more in common with colleagues than friends and relatives and almost 40% had befriended at least 10 people at work.

Almost half of those surveyed said that the workplace was the likeliest place to form relationships, because of the long hours worked, followed by schools, clubs and social media.

For women to form a friendship at work you have to have shared personal problems; for men it’s making friends over a drink after work.

And for 13% of people sharing a dislike of someone at work helped to forge a bond!

Other studies have found that increasingly people are meeting their future partners at work. It’s even claimed that you are more likely to marry someone you meet at work whereas meeting someone in a pub or online is more likely to end in a one-night stand or just a fling.

 

Brits are among the loneliest people in EU

Only Germans are less friendly with their neighbours.

sitting_on_curb_holding_sign_12927It seems we’re unlikely to know our neighbours and will probably have to fend for ourselves in a crisis.

Only 58% of Brits feel connected to people in their neighbourhood.

Cyprus and Romania topped the table in a survey of the 28 EU countries.

The UK came 3rd from bottom when asked if they had a close friend to turn to in a personal crisis – only 1 in 8 people could say yes. Only the French and the Danes have fewer reliable friends. Eastern Europeans, Spaniards and Greeks have more friends they can rely on with Slovakia and Lithuania topping the table in that respect.

Bottom 5 overall

  • Germany 58%
  • UK 58.4%
  • Finland 61.7%
  • Austria 61.9%
  • Italy 64,4%

Top 5 overall

  • Cyprus 80.8%
  • Romania 79.9%
  • Croatia 78.8%
  • Latvia 78.5%
  • Spain 78.2%

Britain’s position is curious given that we participate far more than other EU countries in sport, cultural activities, and volunteering. And the survey, published by the Office for National Statistics (ONS), found that 80% of Brits are satisfied with their social life and relationships with their families.

However there are few places where generations mix in Britain, unlike many European countries, and we live segmented lives according to Professor Frank Furedi at the University of Kent.