Relationship turn-offs

stick_figure_heartbreak_1600_wht_4444There was a lot of fuss last week about some research (in the Personality & Social Psychology Bulletin) about relationship turnoffs or deal breakers.

Nothing really surprising with STIs, violence and smelling bad on the leaderboard.

Over 2/3 of people thought an unclean dishevelled appearance was top of their list followed by almost as many disliking laziness, which might be what leads to the aforementioned scruffiness. Then again there are probably some people who like scruffy partners?

Being too needy was up there too, more so for women. Who wants needy bloke? And not having a sense of humour was seen as a negative.

After that the list seemed a bit of a hotch pitch to me.

Living more than 3 hours away seemed to be a stumbling block for half of the people in the survey. What happened to distance makes the heart grow fonder?

An equal number rated bad sex as a deal-breaker and lacking self-confidence. Are these two connected do you think? “Be more assertive, tell them what you want” I can hear the counsellors urging.

Then too much TV or video games, a low sex drive, and stubbornness. Again is there a connection with watching daytime TV or watching violent video games. You know Countdown, Judge Rinder, Jeremy Kyle or being convinced you can win the league in Football Manager.

Talking too much or being too quiet. As always you can’t win.

Or not wanting children or already having them. Make up your mind!

And finally too athletic or not athletic enough. Is that sex we’re talking about again?

It seems to me there is no magic formula and you could ask any group of people to come up with a list and while there will be some obvious ones there will also be a wide range of personal views.

For example, what about smoking, drinking too much, taking drugs, having tattoos, having a beard, eating with your mouth open, biting your nails, picking your nose, clipping your toe nails in public, too much texting, believing everything you see on Facebook & social media. The list goes on

And the main reasons for Living Together Apart?

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